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Funniest DLR quotes ...
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  1. #1
    EVH diehard ...
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    Funniest DLR quotes ...

    Dave has always had the gift of gab . some of his lines and stories are legendary !!
    what are some of your favs ??

    " ... when the San Bernadino sheriff came up to me backstage and he said Dave ? .... these motherf**kers are out of LINE tonight .."
    "There's a little bit of Van Halen in everyone ..."
    "Who Dares , Wins ..."
    "Van Halen was never about the singer ..."

  2. #2
    Love ya moms......
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    I want a girl that has a IQ of 160,can make love til 5am then turns into a pepperoni pizza.

  3. #3
    Git some!
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    There's three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
    Ready, Eddie!

  4. #4
    No cheer******s allowed!
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    "The reason critics like Elvis Costello, is because he writes good songs."

    "It's real simple, big Ed & me, and the other jungle studs, we like to explore.
    The crazy thing is that we never leave the tent!"

    "If i come back walkin' kinda funny, after one of my trips to the Amazon...
    that's when i say: mission accomplished."

    "The only people...who put iced tea...in Jack Daniels bottles...
    is Chickenfoot, baby!"

  5. #5
    Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by unchainedguitars View Post
    "It's real simple, big Ed & me, and the other jungle studs, we like to explore. The crazy thing is that we never leave the tent!"
    Now THAT'S a good line...and I say that as a DLR supporter (even if he doesn't leave the tent...which of course he does).

    "I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

    "How seriously can you take an art form performed where they sell hot dogs and jujubes?"

    "What do you call a party with no guests? A Quiet Riot concert!" (According to "Everybody Wants Some" this was a club days line.)

    "We were gonna set the equipment up backwards and turn our bee-hinds to the audience so that way EVERYBODY would be backstage!"

    "You hope for the best, I expect it. I go fishing with a Nikon and a frying pan."

    "If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, or who never went to excess, you wouldn’t have any more art left. What kind of poem are you going to get out of a glass of iced tea?"

    "The only interesting thing about Van Halen, after the music stops, is me. It's not that I do so much, it's that they do so goddamn little!"

  6. #6
    The Kid Playin =VH=
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    To me none of the shit DLR says doesn't make ANY SENSE!!!!!!!I just don't get it
    I Give You.... THE MIGHTY VAN HALEN!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by EVHFrankie View Post
    To me none of the shit DLR says doesn't make ANY SENSE!!!!!!!I just don't get it
    I'll try to explain...

    "I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

    This means Dave stopped jogging because he couldn't drink a martini or Jack and Coke at the same time. The joke is he couldn't do something healthy because it interfered with something unhealthy.

    "How seriously can you take an art form performed where they sell hot dogs and jujubes?"

    He means rock and roll is performed in arenas where they sell candy that appeals to little kids, or that you could get at a little league ball park, so why would the music be taken as seriously as Rembrandt. Popcorn and hot dogs and jujubes are not sold at fine art museums.

    "What do you call a party with no guests? A Quiet Riot concert!"

    This means Quiet Riot could throw a party, and nobody is there.

    "We were gonna set the equipment up backwards and turn our bee-hinds to the audience so that way EVERYBODY would be backstage!"

    Because the backs of the speakers and the band's butts would be facing the audience, it would be the same view as if someone were standing backstage, which is considered a prize place to be at a rock show, as it means you're closer to the band and their wild lives.

    "You hope for the best, I expect it. I go fishing with a Nikon and a frying pan."

    Dave means he does not hope for things to go well, he's such an optimist he presumes they will go well. For instance if he went fishing, he would take a pan to fry it and a Nikon to take a picture to show everyone because he is sure he will catch a fish. This does not always happen to real fishermen, i.e. they "get no bites."

    "If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, or who never went to excess, you wouldn’t have any more art left. What kind of poem are you going to get out of a glass of iced tea?"

    Many great artists are known to be drunks and drug addicts. Dave believes this hard lifestyle is where their inspiration comes from, and if someone drank something like iced tea, which is associated with comfort and leisure, they would have no motivation to come up with great art.

    "The only interesting thing about Van Halen, after the music stops, is me. It's not that I do so much, it's that they do so goddamn little!"

    Roth believes he is interesting not because he is so full of life and energy and stories to tell, but because the people around him, the Van Halen brothers, are so lazy and dull by comparison.

    Hope that helped.

  8. #8
    Band Manager
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    Is this dude from another country? If you can't get these jokes you just have no sense of humor. Seriously, what movies do you find funny?
    It can't be "Van Halen" without Roth, any more than it can be "Van Halen" without Eddie.


  9. #9
    The Kid Playin =VH=
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1234over View Post
    Is this dude from another country? If you can't get these jokes you just have no sense of humor. Seriously, what movies do you find funny?
    I'm a young guy?!!? I don't get it but Ice Cream Man helped out with that..haha Sorry if I offended you.
    I Give You.... THE MIGHTY VAN HALEN!

  10. #10
    No cheer******s allowed!
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1234over View Post
    Is this dude from another country? If you can't get these jokes you just have no sense of humor. Seriously, what movies do you find funny?
    HAHA, i was thinking the same thing (though i enjoyed ICM explaining them).

 

 

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